Our History

Being feared is what got you “respect" in my neighborhood. I grew up in Canarsie, Brooklyn, center stage for the movie Goodfellas.

In order to survive that scene, I trained my ass off with superstar martial artists. Pushing one another to get beyond our fears is what earned you respect in the dojo.

But the true masters functioned from a whole other level. They viewed themselves, their opponents and the whole world in a very different way. It was like they could see the invisible. Each block, punch, kick, every movement was less a strike and more of a dance.

They functioned from a higher state. And I wanted to understand what it was. Where did it come from? How did they access it?

Now, I’d encountered two phenomena that had me questioning their superpowers.

One night, as I drifted off to sleep, I imagined John Lennon seated on a cloud, spinning a globe on his middle finger as he sang the lyrics, ‘“People say I’m crazy, lost in confusion… I tell them there’s no problem, only solutions…. I'm sitting here watching the wheels go round and round, I had to let it go..”

Holy Crap! I let go alright. I woke up feeling like I was plugged into a socket, electricity was flowing from head to toe, straight through me and into everything around me. Then in almost complete darkness something possessed me to grab a pen and begin writing furiously - actually it was more like something was being written through me. I was floored the next morning as I read what had been written. The words and language were mainly foreign to me. Something somewhere was connecting with parts of me that I hadn't dreamed to exist. Whatever happened that night, it certainly appeared to be from a power way beyond “me”. Or was it?

And that same year as my martial arts training was peaking, I started to feel a field of energy that extended beyond my hands. My family and friends were freaked out because they were able to feel me pushing them from across the room! Apparently, I was able to “touch” people who were several feet away. I thought to myself, perhaps this is all just in our heads.

One weekend, on NFL Sunday my friend Tom came back to my place to watch the games after we placed our weekly bet with the neighborhood bookie. Tom did some martial arts training with me, so he asked me to do some energy work on him. It kinda freaked him out. The game was blasting, but we couldn't hear a word because my three foot tall JBL speakers were super blasting Led Zeppelin at the same time.

Tom lay on the couch supine and I placed my hands about a foot over his chest. After a couple of minutes, he tells me that he feels some heat and like an electric field pushing on his chest.. So, I kept my hands above him as I took deeper breaths. “It’s burning me!” Like a bat out of hell, he flies off the couch and rips off his shirt.

Our faces were frozen in WTF, mesmerized by the three inch dark red welt that blistered on his chest from out of nowhere.

What the hell was that? Where did it come from? What was I supposed to do with it? How do I control it? This certainly was something way beyond “me”. Or was it?

That same week, the book “Quantum Healing” by Dr. Depak Chopra mysteriously ended up on my bookshelf. Dr. Chopra described the connection between the microcosm- macrocosm and meaningful coincidences. I’d never read anything like it before.

Dr. Chopra then described a verified account of a patient who received a heart transplant and started to take on the memories that came from his heart donor! Now that’s just quantum WTF!

Our thoughts could be transferred from an organ into another person? Our heart stores memories? How? Where?

Just so happens at the time, I needed some quantum healing myself. I had some serious ass back pain from training. My cousin told me a chiropractor helped him, and something inside told me to give it a shot.

The bad news was, my L5 disc was crushed and the doctor sentenced me to back pain for the rest of my life.

The good news was her adjustment made my whole spine “crack,” and the pain disappeared. I jumped off the table and told her, “Bullshit, I’m going to chiropractic school.” I took off like Starship Enterprise completing a three year pre-med program in a year and a half.

My Chiropractic Years

“Get the big idea and all else follows.” -B.J. Palmer D.C.

Next thing I know I’m dissecting the human body from head to toe at Los Angeles Chiropractic School (LACC) and studying human physiology.

The feedback loops are what struck me the most. They’re everywhere. Every function in our entire body appeared to be officiated by an invisible referee that was keeping score by leveling a scale. The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, hormones and antihormones. enzymes and enzyme inhibitors, bacteria and antibacterials, viruses and anti-viruses, oxidation and reduction, excitement and inhibition, flexion and extension.

And it hit me. Yin-Yang! Two opposing forces that co-create one another, maintaining an overall harmony. In martial arts every motion in one direction is counterbalanced with a motion in the opposite direction. Balance has been a central theme in Asian medicine for thousands of years. It inspired me to get my first tattoo — a yin yang. But it was the invisible referee, who or what was leveling the scales, that I wanted to know.

After school I worked a night job at Domino’s Pizza. I met a monk from India who mentored me on raja-yoga (yoga of the mind). I went from high energy workouts in the morning to settling my mind down, chanting sutras and meditating at night. And for brief moments, I’d feel a calm inner peace. Like a scale balanced inside. It felt like an intuition was guiding my way to focus on the mind-body connection.

Soon thereafter I came across an article titled, “Psychoneuroimmunology”. I nearly jumped out of my skin. Truth is, the article could have been written in Swahili. I don’t remember a thing it said, except for the term "psychoneuroimmunology.”

Of course, the psyche affects our nerves, which affects our immune system — how a single word can encapsulate a concept and stick in your mind became apparent to me back then.

I couldn't stop myself from zeroing in on people’s state of mind as they described their health complaints. I noticed how their diabetes, fibromyalgia, MS, you name it, would flare up when they felt emotionally stressed. I wondered how much disease was a result of emotional stress and how much of emotional stress was a result of their disease?

On campus, I was the guy walking around with a walkman listening to Steven Covey, Norman Vincent Peale, Napoleon Hill, and Tony Robbins. I ate that “positive thinking” shit up.

Then I’d get home at night, light a candle and blast Enya or Yani while doing yoga. Sometimes it felt like the music and I became inseparable. I ended up on the mat in tears. And I wondered, what exactly was my psyche doing? What was recreating these brief moments of higher consciousness?

I ran across a CD by Dr. Wayne Dyer (who I ended up working with years later) and incorporated his meditations on the sounds of Om and Ahum into meditations. Holy crap! I felt like I stepped on the third rail! And talk about meaningful coincidence, Dr. Dyer was touring with, of course, Dr. Deepak Chopra! I was certainly being led somewhere.

My Breakthrough

"When you light a candle, you also cast a shadow." -Ursula K. Le Guin

That semester at a guest-speaker event in school, in walks this ultra-skinny, goofy-looking dude wearing an expensive-ass suit.

The room was overfilled and I figured this doc would be another bore telling us how to make money.

But within minutes, Dr. John Demartini invoked the name of Gottfried Leibnitz, the co-creator of calculus. Except Dr. Demartini was talking about metaphysics, Leibnitz’s belief in a “divine perfection and order in the universe.” Dr. Demartini explained that both Leibnitz and Newton were attempting to measure the immeasurable, to define the undefinable. They were trying to measure God!

Dr. Demartini took us on a magical mystery tour of all knowledge – from east to west, from philosophy and religion to physics and poetry. From Buddha to the Z-Boson to Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva. A kaleidoscope of cosmologies! It was like a window had opened up in my brain!

Sure, we were firehosed with facts and data, but it all added up. It all coalesced. All my life, I’d had intuitive glimpses of an underlying connection. Now I saw the universal principle that made it happen. And that principle Dr. DeMartini distilled into a single word: Equilibrium.

“There is a stability in the Universe because of the orderly and balanced process of change, the same measure coming out as going in, as if reality were a huge fire that inhaled and exhaled equal amounts.” -Heraclitus

Friggin’ equilibrium! It’s all around us. It underlies all laws of physics and mathematics. Suddenly, the Middle Way of Buddhism had new meaning. Ditto, the Yin and the Yang.

But it was Dr. Demartini’s application of equilibrium to our emotional journey that was the clincher.

In a nutshell, we have more positive associations to things that “make us happy,” and more negative associations to things that “make us sad.”

But there’s a catch: whatever “makes us happy” will over time, “make us equally sad,” and vice versa. Think of all the dream houses that became damned money pits, or all the “Mr. Rights” who became “Mr. get-out-right-now.”

As we balance our perspectives on things by coming to see the advantages and disadvantages of things, our emotions settle to zero. At the point of equilibrium, it’s like time disappears. We become present. It’s an entirely different experience of the universe, an inner-peace, grace. People and places that were formerly hidden behind a veil of our emotions appear to us, sometimes simultaneously. As we come to inner peace about a loved one, suddenly they call us, or someone related to them calls us straight out of the blue. AHA! Meaningful coincidences, unraveled. As we achieve a balanced perspective we come to “see the light”. We enlighten.

In fact our emotions repeat until they eventually settle to the state of equilibrium. It’s as if the universe is designed for us, to come to grace.

I realized a key distinction that is muddled for most people (including myself)– bliss, and balance were too often mistakenly used interchangeably. Now the distinction was clear. The pursuit of bliss is chasing a one-sided fantasy. The pursuit of equilibrium is coming to see the equal two sides in everything.

My mom always used to tell me “You look for the bright side too much.” I really hadn’t spent any time looking for the downside in my fantasies. I didn’t notice how pursuing success resulted in neglecting some relationships and becoming oblivious to other people’s struggles. Perhaps that’s why the very same struggles come back to hit me harder and harder?

This reality check felt like I was being punched in the face with a kiss. Wow, of course, That’s why I went from pumping my mind up with positive thinking to breaking down in tears on the yoga mat. I was being led to mind-body equilibrium.

And as I reflected deeply upon the personal development community, the more I could see how positive thinking was helping to create our bipolar epidemic!

Truth is, shit happens. We don't get to control it all and it certainly isn't all perceived as positive. In fact everyone and everything has the perception of two sides. We’re all magnets. And If you cut a magnet forever, no matter how small, there will always be two equal sides. Like a magnet, its positive side is attracted to the opposite negative side. Trying to simply be “more positive” is futile. You can’t simply decide to NOT get into accidents. We ALL have unexpected tragedies. What we can do is balance our perceptions of the tragedies we go through.

Now, at the time of Dr. Demartini’s lecture, I just began my clinical residency – in nine months, I’d be a doctor. But I was just presented with a universal principle that I knew inside I was guided to – and it blew my mind. And outside a few, albeit elite, circles, few people knew who Dr. Demartini was. Well, I was gonna change that!

So I dropped out of chiropractic school. And from 1995 to 2005, I worked with Dr. Demartini, filling events and traveling with him throughout North America to be his promoter and protegee. I watched him help people find equilibrium and heal just about any emotional challenge you can imagine. And I knew that Dr. Demartini’s theory explaining consciousness and the experience of time through quantum theory, would one day become accepted as truth.

It was clear to me that we had been so terribly misguided. Everything was pointing to equilibrium, so I was going to become an equilibrium expert. I spent years consulting with people on how to get beyond their emotions by discovering the equilibrium inside themselves and in the world around them.

And then I was blindsided. I felt like I was run over by a Mack truck. And equilibrium and I came to a crossroad.

Equilibrium and the Afterlife

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” -2 Corinthians 4:18

January 9th, 2005, changed my life forever, leading me to doubt everything I believed. If you have ever had the person who you were closest with die young suddenly, then you understand. It’s the day my mom, Lorraine Castagnini, left this world at age fifty-six. My mom was a lot more than just my mom. My mom was my rock, my best friend. After spending a week wanting to jump in the grave with my mother, I stopped myself, flew down to Florida, and shut myself in a 4000 square foot home, where I spent three weeks alone as I struggled between grieving and searching for the equilibrium, seriously doubting I would ever find it I forced myself to sit down and do it.

According to the first law of thermodynamics – the law of conservation: energy and matter is neither created nor destroyed, but only changes form. All of us are this energy that is continually transforming. By looking for the natural transformation beyond her body (form), finding equilibrium in her transformation, I should be able to connect with her energy. So I looked at each quality my mom had represented to me. Her nurturing, friendship, humor, and empathy…where now could I find these same qualities? I found every quality in the people around me. Logically, this all makes complete sense.

Hell? More like mental torture. Each time I looked for the transformation, my mind, and my heart would jet back into a panic to my mom, her love, her unconditional love, gone forever. I stopped myself to look for who was loving me unconditionally now? Who was mothering me now? Upon reflection, I could see that my aunt and my cousins stepped up and were supporting me like never before. This felt like my ultimate crossroad. Either I’d find the perfect balance in my mom’s passing, or I would realize that the equilibrium I was teaching was BS.

I spent weeks wrestling between my depression and finding life’s hidden balance beneath the horror of my mom’s passing. Part of me was refusing to believe but my spirit knew…I wrote down each blessing. I was being pushed to handle more responsibility in life. I experienced more empathy for my friends who lost a loved one.

Suddenly an overwhelming feeling of inner peace instructed my body to let go of everything. My spine sprung to the sun. I took the deepest breath of my life and It felt as if a thousand bricks were lifted off my shoulders, tears streamed down my face.

From Buddha to bosons, from electrons to emotions, frickin’ equilibrium was EVERYWHERE. In a sudden moment of inner peace, I felt lighter as if something had let go, something shifted inside. I really didn’t know what happened. I just felt inside that something was OK. I put down my pen to go to a restaurant for dinner. My girlfriend came with me.

While we were in the parking lot, a woman walked by and caught my attention. Our eyes locked and she said “hello” with her smile. I introduced myself and asked her name. “Lorraine,” she responded.

Lorraine! Same name as my mom, and not exactly the most common name.

I asked Lorraine where she was from.

“Brooklyn” … same as my mom. Well, I was highly suspicious of the “coincidence” and I asked Lorraine her age.

This Lorraine was also fifty-six years old … my mom’s age when she died.

Lorraine was holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other (Mom loved those damn cigarettes and drank eight cups of coffee per day!).

Suddenly, it felt like there was no separation between me, this new Lorraine, or anyone or anything around me. It felt like I was floating alongside everyone and everything around me like there was a light beam connecting us all. There was a calm inner knowing inside me.

I whispered to my girlfriend, “I guarantee this Lorraine’s birthday is January 9th” (the same day my mom had passed a month earlier).

The woman stared through my eyes with laser focus as I asked when her birthday was.

“January 9th,” she answered, “Why?” Then she got into a waiting car and was driven away. It seemed like she’d disappeared, like a ghost.

Was this a living breathing confirmation that mom was still around somewhere? What are the chances of meeting another 56-year-old “Lorraine” from Brooklyn whose birthday would be on my mom’s death day? And what made me know and voice that her birthday would be on my moms day of passing, in advance? Had I transcended the space/time illusion and experienced the eternal present? In 2005, one thing seemed clear: equilibrium, or at least something damn close to it, was guiding my way.

My path was clear. I wrote my Thank God My Mom Died story. Finding the equilibrium in my mom’s passing had me ten-fold in my pursuit of equilibrium.

As I continued to advise clients, when a client of mine told me that she wanted to publish her Thank God I was Raped story, it sent chills down my spine. I began a publishing company www.thankgodi.com where we published authors' real-life accounts of how they found the hidden blessings within their deepest life's challenges.

ThankGodi is indeed a tale of equilibrium. On the bright side, ThankGodi authors sold a bunch of books.

We published first-time authors along with several New York Times best-selling authors and our series was endorsed by both creators of Chicken Soup for the Soul, the best-selling book series of all time! Our series ended up on ABC-TV and even landed us in a film with his holiness the Dalai Lama.

On the downside, kamikaze suicide is being the CEO of a book publishing company as tech took over the world. Learning logistics, customer service, finances; all the mistakes, and learning curves came hard and fast. But thankfully, in 2024 ThankGodi stories are still serving people to discover the other side of their life challenges.

The Road to Equilibration

“The difficulty lies not in the new ideas, but in escaping from the old ones.”

John Maynard Keynes

While we all know it’s wise to follow our intuition, we often don't. And I learned firsthand just why that’s the case.

There’s a tug-of-war inside us. While our intuition leads us in one direction our emotions fight tooth and nail to pull us in the opposite direction.

We have physiological and psychological parts of ourselves that grasp onto our emotions.

Thoughts (fantasies and nightmares) that coalesce with our pleasure and pain centers create a mind-body connection resulting in emotions; which become physiological addictions.

Meanwhile, our psyche seeks predictability, and does so by creating a self-identity. Our thoughts and emotions get wrapped up in that identity, which become psychological addictions.

And we all know how challenging it can be to break an addiction and to change our views of ourselves.

A client asked me why I feel so compelled to share equilibrium with people. I told him, “My first martial arts instructor made me look in the mirror at my face, my body, and then deep into my eyes and meditate with my eyes open. I now understand what he was trying to get me to see - that the real war was inside myself. Equilibrium freed me to see the invisible. To hear my intuition and listen to my higher self.”

Several years ago, I realized equilibration was the perfect word for describing the process of balancing our emotions to a state of equilibrium. Equilibration provides the key to winning the only one that matters, the war in our consciousness. I trademarked Equilibration™, and I spent years working with people as I tweaked the process.

Equilibration and Our Future

"Develop the mind of equilibrium. You will always be getting praise and blame, but do not let either affect the poise of the mind: follow the calmness, the absence of pride."

Buddha

The day I discovered Covid-19, I tried to explain to people that a bio-weapon was most likely released and the Covid shot was a non-starter.

And as I watched the media, administrations and their private partners consolidate their power and lie to the people.

As they used fear and confusion to manipulate people into following orders that were not in their best interests, destroying peoples lives. I prayed to understand how I could help, how to help people see for themselves.

I told people that by continually searching for the equilibrium inside themselves as their emotions were triggered, fear, confusion and manipulation will lose any power. Your intuition will guide you to follow its lead. It will enable you to see the world around yourself more clearly.

I realized that AI, ML and quantum computing are in the hands of these same powers - being used to manipulate people's minds deeper and faster.

We have entered a new age. And the fight for control over human thought defines it. The war on our consciousness is heading into superdrive.

I believe that we all deserve the opportunity to discover for ourselves who we are, to think for ourselves and to find our own way.

And I know that Equilibration™ - Martial Arts for the mind - provides anyone that opportunity.

So I went all in. I partnered with premier technology savants in India, Dubai, and the U.K.. Our team is researching and developing ways to expand people’s understanding of Equilibrium. And I figured, making that journey fun wouldn’t hurt.

We’re developing apps, courses, games, movies, articles, events, and an entire mind-body wellness care system to extend equilibrium into people’s lives. We will repurpose AI and ML and advancing technology, with the hope of developing it for future generations.

I thank everyone from my past, and anyone who arrives in my future to help me live my small part in the challenges and opportunities of what lies ahead.

And it is my hope that we have the honor of serving with you on this journey.

Thank you